being able to do nothing

I do love to do a lot of things. i love watching movies clicking photos, writing about stuff a bit of music. that seems like the basic profile of any teenage boy ( although i am not technically a teenager anymore). These days for most of the time I do absolutely nothing. And since i do nothing to write about i decided to write about me doing nothing. I remember it wasn’t like this always, i was such a active kid, i loved to do everything there is. then age happened and all those hormones fought for the little space i had in my mind, and after all those fights i was a little tired.

The list of things that i wanna accomplish is quite large, but the effort that i take to reach those goals is basically nothing. one can say that i am not trying, but i am trying to trying. i know what i need to do to get what i want, but i am just not doing it, maybe this lack of trying is what qualifies me as unworthy of those goals. maybe this is how less fortunate people became less fortunate. and maybe this is the difference between a winner and a looser, not the special abilities that we believe winners have.

Or this is all just my age playing games on me. and this period may fill pass, i sure as hell hope so. i was just thinking about what i said earlier, about the difference between a winner and looser, that the difference is lack of trying. the ability to try, the ability to do somethings itself is an ability, clearly you can’t just go study multiple integral solutions if you hate mathematics, that is something you don’t enjoy, and trying to be win over something you hate is not a good idea for most of the people, Sure you need to find your domain that is the key to winning i believe. but that’s not exactly the problem. mastering something you hate is absolutely out of question. The problem is not able to do something you love, That is pretty much the worst situation you can find yourself in.

the feature photo of this post is a photo i took. the composition itself is bad on that image. i know it could have been a lot better. But even though i know its bad, i could have edited the image and made it look less bad. i totally could have done it. i have the tools and i know the trade. but i didn’t !!!!